16 NATAL REPORT FOR EVA that life is too hard, or that it is beyond your conscious control. You may experience a sense of imprisonment, either real or imagined, or perhaps a strong sense of guilt, which may be generalized rather than specific. You tend to withdraw from the world, or in some way give up control. Or you may overcompensate by trying too hard to achieve control. Your true path lies in soullevel self-sacrifice rather than in the more mundane life of worldly events. You possess, in a very concentrated form, the urge for spiritual evolution that is present in all of us, and which actualizes when you can detach from the personal self and surrender to a mystical union with all of life. The following applies to your generation as a whole as well as to you personally: Saturn in Sagittarius (or the ninth house) gives an educated and philosophically active mentality, with a deepening and a concentration, or a blockage, in the area of higher learning and expansion into new horizons. You are courageous in expressing your opinion, have a keen intuition and make a good teacher. Your early beliefs may be characterized by adhering too strictly to a dogmatic and rigid set of principles, but you grow into a more mature wisdom in your later years. You likely have a need for physical exercise. You make a good teacher, and may also feel a calling to work with the disadvantaged. While open and honest, and intent on expressing your point of view, you may also doubt yourself in this area, seeming indecisive or rebellious. Your goals are mental and spiritual, rather than material, and you may search for a new framework of moral or spiritual values, rather than adopt existing outworn belief systems. Your lesson is to eventually come to the realization that the true source of moral and ethical valuation lies within yourself. Chiron in Gemini (17° Gem 56') Chiron in the Sixth House Chiron in the Sixth House (or sign) represents issues with one's vital force of improving and organizing more efficient ways to serve self and others. With this placement you are more or less compulsively drawn to the issues of organization, and personal sickness and health, as well as service to other people. You may experience some degree of suffering through ill-health, either real or imagined, or through over-doing for others in a service role, perhaps as a member of an organization or work place. You may experience painful realizations around the possibility of perfection in this life time, such as keeping the perfect house in order at all times, so that it becomes an obsession, or the quest for the perfect body. These issues may stem from early childhood, in relation to being put in a position of servitude against your will, or challenged in your developing feelings of selfworth, so that issues of making yourself available to others become both a habit and a source of painful memories in your adult life.
17 NATAL REPORT FOR EVA Or these issues may operate more at the level of the fantasy and the imagination. It is important to get as conscious as possible with these issues, to discover what actual events may have been essential to forming the constellation of your inner life. As long as these issues remain locked away in your unconscious they are basically toxic to your healthy self-image, and they backfire on you when you least expect them to, and may eventually manifest as actual ill-health. As you become more conscious of these patterns deep within you the healing can begin, enabling you to be of true service to others, as you operate from a place of joy and wellbeing, rather than from a place of resentment and frustration. By doing this work on yourself, you get more clear, and you gain a truer perspective on yourself and your life's journey. As you are better able to nourish yourself with what you actually need, you are better able to help others as well. The following applies to your generation as a whole as well as to you personally: Chiron in the Gemini (or the Third House) represents issues regarding developing one's intellect and communicating one's ideas with others. With this placement you may feel an almost compulsive curiosity regarding other people. Your desire is strong to communicate and to explore your world intellectually, but you may feel some kind of barrier that separates you from others at the same time. These feelings of being blocked in your ability to communicate and to get your point across can even manifest physically as a form of stuttering, or another ailment that prevents clear communication. These may seem physical, but the physical and the mental are so intimately related it really is hard to say. If there is a psychological reason behind difficulties in communicating with others, it is likely to be found in early youth, when it was quite important to communicate with your peers. Perhaps there was some group that you felt cut off from in the casual cruelty of that era, or perhaps you felt that you were not fully accepted by important siblings. In your efforts to be accepted and to get through to others you may overcompensate by seeming very competitive or desiring to be recognized for the extent of your knowledge. Whatever the childhood trauma that continues to give you difficulties in adult life, it is important to try to understand and relate well to your earlier self. If you can learn to love and accept who you were then, as well as who you are today, you will come a long way toward full participation in your communication with others. In your quest for wholeness it is quite possible that you will be drawn to helping others to communicate, perhaps taking on the role of a speech therapist or other helping person in other people's lives. As you begin to fully accept yourself you will be even more able to help others in their particular road to fulfillment also.