26 NATAL REPORT FOR EVA The planetary energies conflict; internal and creative tensions bring rich rewards through effort over time. You are persistent and thorough, and may be careful or calculating in your dealings with others. This aspect gives an ambitious and clear-minded individual, with a strong sense of responsibility. You may suffer from feelings of inferiority. You are likely to have had problems in the early life with finding your own identity, independent of parental figures, so that in your adult life you may operate out of a subconscious fear that if you don't conquer the world first, then it will conquer you instead. You also may have difficulties, limitations or delays in the achievement of your goals, but you are likely to achieve success in the end through your tremendous drive to achieve. Neptune in weak trine (within 7.0 degrees) with Midheaven The planetary energies flow smoothly; the connection is easy and beneficial. This combination gives a charming personality with an idealistic nature. You may have a musical career or achieve much in the helping professions. You tend to give more than you receive in your employment. You are susceptible to suggestion, and you may have a tendency to avoid responsibility. There may have been difficulties or confusion in your early years, especially with regard to your parents. The image that you have of your parents may change as you mature. In vocation, you must learn to clarify your goals. You will not be content with an ordinary job, but must seek out some career that is a real calling. At your best you express the societal ideals of brother- and sisterhood and find a spiritual joy in your work. Chiron in weak square (within 6.9 degrees) with Midheaven The planetary energies conflict; internal and creative tensions bring rich rewards through effort over time. With this aspect of Chiron and your Midheaven, you likely have issues around exerting personal will versus knuckling under to authority. You have enormous energy and endurance at your disposal, although you may appear timid or unsure of yourself, since your power urge is likely to be repressed. It may be that you have had many painful experiences with authority. As a result of these experiences, you may fear the expression of your own personal power, and alternate between complying with the standards of society around you, or rebelling against them. You may avoid situations where a direct confrontation seems to be brewing. You also may feel more empowered in helping others than in getting your own act together, and this aspect can be the sign of someone with a career in the helping professions, perhaps involved with new age healing. It is often the case that the powerful emotions associated
27 NATAL REPORT FOR EVA with this aspect hover below the level of conscious awareness in your psyche. As you become more aware of these patterns, you will less and less need to act them out either suppressed with passivity, or with bluster. Another manifestation of this aspect, perhaps paradoxically, is the ability to lead and be willful, to not take "no for an answer", to be ruthless in accomplishing one's aims. A better level of integration produces a newly selfassured personality whereby you do not depend on others either to fully express your own desires, nor to be swayed by theirs. When you have integrated the walled-off places in your psyche that inhibit action on the part of your whole entire self, you are available to yourself in situations of leadership, as well as in truly helping other people.